New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
