come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you traded sex for a burrito?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
