how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
