I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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