I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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