Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
