she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
sex in a hospital.. check
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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