hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
