If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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