i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
