I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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