It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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