I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
