My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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