i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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