either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
