Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
