Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
