if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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