I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've blown a few things in my day
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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