called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
