I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
