We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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