Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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  (337): i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think... (985): wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb http://tfl.nu/zhoe
  Replies (13) Good night (1074) Bad night (1389)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3908) Bad night (1275)
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  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (1184) Bad night (3985)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2784) Bad night (15312)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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  (201): just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit. http://tfl.nu/jcis
  Replies (16) Good night (4954) Bad night (1745)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.

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  (803): He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing. http://tfl.nu/hr4b
  Replies (17) Good night (4466) Bad night (2167)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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  (814): Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me? http://tfl.nu/l0ft
  Replies (4) Good night (2583) Bad night (1531)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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  (907): On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face http://tfl.nu/k6gh
  Replies (3) Good night (1565) Bad night (882)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  why does he always try to puke into shot glasses

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  (303): why does he always try to puke into shot glasses http://tfl.nu/7wx4
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (1481)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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  (716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum
  Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (628)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.

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  (386): I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone. http://tfl.nu/mucl
  Replies (13) Good night (1414) Bad night (665)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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  (817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay
  Replies (9) Good night (665) Bad night (1329)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song

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  (417): For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song http://tfl.nu/a91l
  Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (524)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.

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  (585): Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made. http://tfl.nu/97ys
  Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You fucked that MILF against my car!

  (415): View more from California

  How would you know?

  (619): View more from California

  She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her

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  (619): You fucked that MILF against my car! (415): How would you know? (619): She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her http://tfl.nu/6u9g
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (547)

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