Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.