Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (490) Bad night (3473)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/el01
  Replies (28) Good night (6029) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (18209) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit. http://tfl.nu/3nc6
  Replies (17) Good night (4545) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (68) Good night (18132) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying... http://tfl.nu/qpg3
  Replies (9) Good night (3099) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I have vodka in my lungs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I think I have vodka in my lungs http://tfl.nu/shpx
  Replies (4) Good night (1888) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it. http://tfl.nu/eha8
  Replies (6) Good night (2724) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday http://tfl.nu/whui
  Replies (4) Good night (2250) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust http://tfl.nu/ucdh
  Replies (6) Good night (1865) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f
  Replies (11) Good night (1729) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself. http://tfl.nu/3gaw
  Replies (46) Good night (2268) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj
  Replies (2) Good night (1825) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/r09f
  Replies (8) Good night (412) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/nmbl
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (331)

Randomize