nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this boner is exhausting
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize