Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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  (613): I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ. http://tfl.nu/qy75
  Replies (37) Good night (25407) Bad night (954)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,

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  (250): Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog, http://tfl.nu/g0c0
  Replies (22) Good night (949) Bad night (4322)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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  (719): he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka http://tfl.nu/p67g
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (5668)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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  (501): we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american" http://tfl.nu/1xh1
  Replies (26) Good night (7950) Bad night (1069)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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  (734): Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window. http://tfl.nu/6pvh
  Replies (35) Good night (1599) Bad night (8609)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.

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  (513): I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star. http://tfl.nu/6ohf
  Replies (19) Good night (5428) Bad night (1031)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (1070) Bad night (2166)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.

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  (830): I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won. http://tfl.nu/nmjn
  Replies (20) Good night (3103) Bad night (1237)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

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  (425): I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help. (1-425): I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity. http://tfl.nu/3ise
  Replies (4) Good night (1534) Bad night (637)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.

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  (517): First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness. http://tfl.nu/gw3t
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (509)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..

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  (201): I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again.. (973): We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks.. http://tfl.nu/kzt5
  Replies (4) Good night (1624) Bad night (442)
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  (707): View more from California

  Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.

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  (707): Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready. http://tfl.nu/moy8
  Replies (13) Good night (1471) Bad night (606)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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  (631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj
  Replies (21) Good night (4789) Bad night (744)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.

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  (651): Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/7b82
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (255)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

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  (570): They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me. http://tfl.nu/dk1c
  Replies (5) Good night (420) Bad night (329)

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