Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.

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  (412): I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life. http://tfl.nu/mibv
  Replies (8) Good night (1095) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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  (210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso
  Replies (4) Good night (1568) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Succeeded.

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  (404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020
  Replies (7) Good night (4659) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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  (651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/co7p
  Replies (26) Good night (913) Bad night (5762)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

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  (215): yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway... http://tfl.nu/qwxo
  Replies (53) Good night (12340) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.

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  (412): I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish. http://tfl.nu/e99m
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (3543)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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  (678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub
  Replies (4) Good night (3384) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2210) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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  (941): I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention. http://tfl.nu/43cq
  Replies (8) Good night (1127) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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  (406): I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself http://tfl.nu/7ngm
  Replies (13) Good night (2486) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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  (801): You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fwv4
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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  (608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff
  Replies (4) Good night (343) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ......how on earth do you do that?

  (425): View more from Washington

  NINJAAAA

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  (425): I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style. (503): ......how on earth do you do that? (425): NINJAAAA http://tfl.nu/oky6
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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  (406): fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke http://tfl.nu/cbs1
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.

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  (423): That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator. http://tfl.nu/o4y1
  Replies (3) Good night (228) Bad night (336)

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