he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.