do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
