Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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