he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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