I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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