I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
