Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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