I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
