i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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