do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
