a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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