shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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