we're blogging at a bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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