Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need water and some morals
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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