hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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