I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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