I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
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but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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