Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
