Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
love makes seman taste better
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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