don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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