just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
