Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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