So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
