I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
