I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
