12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
