I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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