Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
