hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
