Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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