We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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