I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
