But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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