i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
