Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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