Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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