He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
