At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
