You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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