mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
