Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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