If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
